Although I’ve been in Ireland for over a month, I feel like I’m still going to need to be pinched when I get off the plane in Philadelphia. It’s almost like I’ve been in a dream this whole time and it won’t feel real until I’m looking back on it. Before this trip, Ireland was but a dream in my mind. Ever since I was a young girl I imagined going to the Emerald Isle and discovering where my family came from. This trip was a long time coming for me and I have been fortunate enough to be able to experience something I never thought I would. After being here for the first time, I’ve discovered so much more than my heritage. I have been able to discover who I really am.
Seeing where part of my DNA lived here in Ireland was absolutely indescribable. Ireland is a country of such history and it’s crazy to think that my relatives were a part of that history at one point or another. Traveling to many different places throughout Ireland I felt sincerely welcomed by everyone especially after introducing myself as Sionainn (Shannon) Haugh. The locals of Ireland that I encountered and had true conversations with throughout Ireland were so intrigued by why I chose to come to Ireland, where my family was from, and what it is like to live in America. I always felt at home here, which has been very comforting. Exploring places around the Emerald Isle I became so cultured and I will now be able to tell someone when asked about the country more than just, “they have Guinness there.” Not only was it fun learning about the culture of the Irish people and its history but I had even more of a rollercoaster ride learning about myself.
My outlook on life has completely transformed since being here. I know it sounds cliché, but Ireland really changed my life and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Prior to my journey in Ireland, the littlest things used to really piss me off and now I feel less reason to worry or be annoyed. It’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can truly grasp the things in life that really matter and take in everything that’s so beautiful happening around me. All of these realizations started to really hit me when I went to Cliffs of Moher because of something that was given to me before I left for my excursion through Ireland.
My grandfather was a very important part of my life and when he passed away it was my mission to make it on a journey to the “motherland” to see everything he had always talked about in his stories. Before coming on this trip, my grandmother gave me a photo of my grandfather on the Cliffs of Moher exactly 30 years ago. The picture is something so very special to me so I decided to recreate it. For me, the picture encompasses everything I’ve become since being here. I have such a bigger appreciation for life and I am so lucky to have such strong roots and family values. While I was looking out onto the Atlantic Ocean, I thought of my grandfather and how he had been at the same place 30 years prior. I got the chills just then, not because of the windy, brisk weather but because I discovered right then and there that nothing in the world at that exact moment mattered at all. It was just the sea, me, and my grandfather’s spirit making sure I knew that everything from that second on would be okay.
For the first time in my short existence I can really say that I am completely content with my life and myself. I worry less about the little things and see more of the big picture. I realized in studying and traveling in another country that the world is so much bigger than me. This trip has been a way for me to step out of my comfort zone and really find out who I really am. I’ve never gone more than two weeks without seeing my parents before coming here and it was a challenge for me to live completely on my own, make my own decisions without any guidance, and become an adult (officially). Although I’ve missed my parents terribly, this experience has taught me more than any class could ever teach me.
Leaving this crazy, wonderful place will be one of the hardest things I ever do, but that’s also what I said about leaving my life in Philly and coming here. A part of me will always be here in Ireland with my grandfather but I am excited to see where the next chapter in my life leads me. Not only will I be bringing back a bottle of Jameson and a wool knit scarf but I will be coming home with a backbone, a smile, and a different outlook on life.
-Shannon Haugh