It’s my birthday, May 19th and I’m on the way to the airport to catch my flight from Philly to Dublin. My mom and dad are in the front seats driving me there. I see my mom look at me through the rearview mirror and I quickly look away because I feel like I might cry. All I’ve been talking about for the past 3 months is how excited I am to finally leave the country and be out on my own. I can’t let them know that now I’m scared and I don’t know if I made the right decision. I’ve never been away from my parents for longer than 3 weeks. How can I manage for 6 weeks in a completely different country?
For as long as I can remember I’ve been telling my family that I want to travel. I always say there is no way I can live in Pennsylvania my whole life, I need to get out. It’s not that I don’t like it, I just want to see what else there is. So after all the preparations were made for my trip to Dublin I immediately began making arrangements for my future endeavors. In the spring semester of 2014 planning on working for the Disney College Program in Florida and then I want to complete another study away program in Los Angeles the following fall. Each of these programs are 3 months long but during my whole jumbled preparation process I never really thought much about being away. I just have this urge to experience everything I possibly can while I’m still young and not tied down by a job or a family of my own and that drive prevented me from thinking about the downsides of traveling.
It wasn’t until the day of my flight out of Philadelphia that I realized how hard it would actually be to leave all my loved ones behind. I was so caught up in the excitement that I didn’t take the time to sit back and think about what leaving would actually mean for me. I’d be missing most of my birthday, Father’s Day, family reunions and parties. Not to mention the fact that I would also have to leave my pets behind. Since I put all of these thoughts to the back of my mind for so long, on the day I was leaving the realization hit me like a brick.
After choking back my tears and saying goodbye, my life became a blur. Everything began happening so fast. Before I knew it I was in Dublin with 17 strangers. It could’ve been a new season of MTV’s the Real World. I don’t know how many times the opening monologue ran through my head, “This is the true story… of 17 strangers picked to live in Dublin for 6 weeks…find out what happens… when people stop being polite… and start getting real. The Real World Dublin”. None of us knew anything about each other or the city we were thrown into. Suddenly we were expected to live here and interact with one another.
The first week was very difficult. I was extremely jetlagged and having never flown before I had no idea what that was like. Getting up for early classes while trying to recover from jetlag, make new friends and explore the city, was nearly impossible. During this time those thoughts kept coming back into my head; “I wasn’t ready for this”, “I’m not going to be able to travel like I always said”, “I miss my family”, “I’ll be in the same place forever”. After a couple weeks of this internal struggle I finally snapped out of it.
Howth is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. It is only a 30 minute bus ride outside of Dublin but it is like a different world. Standing on top of Howth’s Head you can see for miles, from the tall buildings of Dublin to the beaches of Malahide. We traveled as a class to Howth to hike the beachside cliffs from the top of Howth’s Head into town. We began walking the trails and climbing around on the cliffs when I noticed our teacher, Darren, walk down a less trodden path and disappear. After a few moments I decided to follow him. When I found him, he was sitting in a clearing on the side of the cliff that had one of the most breathtaking views I had ever seen. I just sat down there while the rest of the class wandered in and I clearly remember thinking, “This trip is the best decision I have ever made.” That epiphany caused the rest of the program to fly by. Once again everything was a blur but this time it was exciting. I explored the city, I explored outside of the city and all the corners of Ireland. I went everywhere I possibly could and took every opportunity given to me.
It’s ironic that after all of my worrying it’s now my sixth week in Dublin and I’m not ready to leave. This just wasn’t enough time to do everything I wanted to do and see everything I wanted to see. I wish I wouldn’t have let myself get so stressed out and waste time worrying about coming here instead of enjoying my last day with my family and friends. But at least now I know that when I leave again it won’t be so hard. I can make the best of it. The most important thing that I got out of this trip was proving to myself that I can do it. I can go out on my own and experience a new place without constantly feeling homesick. I love my family and I love my friends but at some point everyone has to leave the nest and for me, Ireland was that time.
-Allison Miller