I absolutely loved my time in Merida! Everywhere I’ve traveled to has a place in my body and soul. The food I eat gives me life for the next day that follows. The memories I have I will forever cherish. The souvenirs I’ve bought will make themselves home wherever my home is. Post-study abroad I will carry Merida along with me through the rest of my life, the memories, the lessons learned, and the connections made. I remember being terrified the week before leaving and not packing until the day before. This was the first time traveling alone without knowing anyone else on the trip, and I had a great fear of how to deal with loneliness on this trip. However, my expectations were completely turned upside down. For the first time in months, I would wake up feeling excited for what the day may bring. Since I’m young, everything about my future is so uncertain which is terrifying. I find my worth by experiencing new things and opening my heart to how the experiences slowly transform my mind, and everything I have experienced will remain a part of who I am. I spent most of my nights alone trying out new nightlife and sitting in parks, trying to just simply exist in this new temporary environment. I have a favorite ice cream store. Throughout the month, these places have become a third place to me, a place outside of home and school, and I will miss the comfort and relaxation of this public place, shared with hundreds if not thousands. I’ll think back on these places and try to remember the atmosphere and how lucky I am to have spent my time there.
In terms of my position in the world, I’ve learned more about the effects of my travels and my consumption of spiritual and physical material. I’ve noticed how tour guides dumb things down for us American tourists, and how everything is put into terms of western thought with polytheistic gods and the lack of spiritual discourse. In Yaxunah, while exploring the archeological site, everything was explained in English, even though other Spanish speaking university students were also present. I felt so guilty being shoved handicrafts in my face and having to say “no gracias.” Seeing so many earnest locals trying to support families, I am undoubtably privileged. I leave Mexico throwing away all my past preconceived notions of the culture, while taking into view the lasting effect of Spanish colonialism on how the culture is today. I leave with more appreciation for the pre-hispanic mayan culture and their resilience through oppression. I leave knowing that this lens of seeing culturally through the history is a speck of what more there is to learn. As someone living in a country that exerts their cultural power with neocolonialism of the Global South, it is necessary to take back this knowledge of my consumption habits, and thoughtfully interact with the world. I leave Merida with a new outlook of my impact on the world, timeless memories, and countless stories to tell, keeping the piece of Merida in me alive.
