“Demi Moore” is the fourth track off of Phoebe Bridgers 2017 album “Stranger in the Alps”. The song focuses on how we often mistake sex and desirability for loneliness. The song has an eerie melody but the lyrics prove to be real and raw, especially now in the age of the internet and social media. In today’s society there are so many standards set, especially for women. If you like a guy, you can’t show it too much because you don’t want him to think you’re crazy, but if you sleep with multiple people you’re considered a slut. It’s a lose lose situation. Eventually we are just left trying to take what we can get to fill the void of loneliness and to feel like we are wanted.
The opening line of the song is “take a dirty picture babe I can’t sleep and I miss your face”. This is interesting for may reasons, one of which being the face being the focal point. Usually when it comes to “dirty” photos or nude photos, the face is not the focal point of the photo, it’s usually a desirable body part. This leads us to believe that what this person wants isn’t just a hookup but something more and there are actual feelings involved. It can also be viewed as manipulation in a sense. Often times men try to manipulate women into sending them pictures for their own benefit. They try and make them feel like they care about them and they try and sweet talk them into giving what they want, when in reality they don’t mean what they are saying but they know that the girl likes to hear it because it makes her feel wanted and desirable. When the girl sends the pictures though she is often looked down upon. The next line of the song is “In my hands and in my knees tell me what you wanna do to me”. We get so caught up in validation from others. We start to think that one guys opinion on us is make or break, especially when we’re younger. As girls we grow up to believe that if a guy likes us and thinks we’re attractive than that somehow defines our worth.
In the chorus she says “I don’t wanna be stoned I don’t wanna be stoned anymore”. Often times the feeling of being high can be equated to the feeling of being numb. Bridgers is saying you doesn’t want to be numb anymore. We get so caught up in the flow of society and how it perceives us and the validation from others that it starts to become this numbing cycle. After a while you start to forget what feeling is and what it actually feels like to feel. The only time you feel anything is when you’re gaining validation. It has never made sense to me why woman are viewed as such objects to men. We are expected to all these things in an effort to “keep up our appearances” just so they’ll find us attractive? What’s the point? I think as a society we are starting to make progress in the way women are viewed in the world but there is still so much more progress to be made. If a guy is making you uncomfortable and you tell him you’re not interested then you’re seen as a bitch. If a guy hits on you ad you tell him you’re not interested then he tells you that you aren’t that attractive anyway. If you wear shorts and a tank top when it’s hot out men think your body is on display for them so they can make comments about it and cat call you. If you don’t laugh at their jokes that are insulting or inappropriate then you have no sense of humor. If you won’t sleep with them then you’re a prude, but if you do sleep with them then you’re a slut. Everything is a lose lose situation. They think everything we do is in hopes to please them or make them comfortable, which isn’t the case.
When I was younger I used to worry a lot about how people perceived me, especially men. I worried if I dressed a certain way or wore a certain thing than I would look like I cared too much or that I was trying too hard. I was worried if I showed too much emotion or talked they would think that I was annoying or strange. Looking back on it I realize how much of my life I had wasted and how many opportunities and chances I missed because I was so worried about if they would like me or not. Now it’s easier to realize that men need women way more than we need them and I think they realize it too, which is why they try so hard to set these standards for us because they know if we set the same ones for them they would realize how insane and unattainable they really are.