Melancholy Melodies

Living the Teenage Nightmare

            As a child, I imagined life at 17 as a teenage dream. To my surprise, this was a cruel lie. My teenage years were a nightmare I could not wake up from. Existence felt like a burden, the future a dreadful topic. I was told that I have my whole life ahead of me and to enjoy my youth while I can. Hearing this fueled the guilt that haunted me daily. Nothing was wrong in my life, the sun kept on shining. It felt as if I did not have the right to feel as miserable as I did. Every day looked the same; wake up, freshen up, go to school, come home and retreat to my nest of a bed that I refused to leave until the cycle inevitably restarted. I found temporary escape through video games, food, socially accepted drugs, and dating apps, but it was never enough.

My bedroom was rarely a quiet place as I eventually found comfort in music. The misery that gripped me so violently wasn’t inexpressible after all. The artists that mean the most to me don’t have crowds of fans jumping and bumping to bass so loud it could pop an eardrum. I found that whispers of song could quiet the horrors in my head. Music of heartbreak and loneliness sparked emotions in me that I needed to face. Avoidance no longer suited me as it was time to address the depression consuming my life with the music that inspired rebound and recovery.

The Curtains Close for Good

The thespian masks art print by JennyandSophie courtesy of Redbubble

            I had an aspirational childhood. I naively believed becoming a star was my destiny. I was a theatre kid, I listened to showtunes like it was nobody’s business. I would dance around my room until the sweat drenched me and looked like I had gone for a swim. I imagined the bright lights of Broadway shining down on me while applause roared through the crowd during my lone performances. In my mind, I never failed to earn a standing ovation.

After starting high school, I joined the drama club. This would shockingly be one of the most traumatic moments of my life thus far. My dreams were shattered as the director and peers criticized my every move. I would strive for lead roles. I knew I was born to be in the limelight. When I was deprived of these opportunities, my peers who did land these roles would tell me I wasn’t good enough. They insisted I had to try harder so I could be more like them. Was I doing something wrong? Was I delusional? Were my talents illusory?

I sought guidance and advice from the so-called “stars” I admired but painfully envied. It was by no means constructive. It was an unnecessarily competitive environment where high school kids judged each other’s skills, sociability, and physical appearances to project their own insecurities. It was almost like a low-budget reality show poorly written for Nickelodeon or something. Friendships were fake and dreams were crushed for everyone involved. My self-esteem rapidly deteriorated. COVID shut the door early on my high school theatre hobby and I never looked back again. I lost my love for musicals and was repulsed at the thought of ever listening to Broadway cast recordings ever again. I began to guiltily fantasize about suicide.

https://www.publichealth.columbia.edu/news/pandemic-has-lasting-effects-teen-mental-health-substance-use

The Queen of Surreal Sadness

It felt like my world was falling apart and taking me down with it. Every night I would lie in bed and search for music that matched the low vibrations of my emotional energy. I scrolled on Spotify for hours every day waiting for an artist that understood my situation. I came across a name I recognized, Lana Del Rey. I recognized her as a popular singer known for her cinematic melancholia that differed from many artists of her time. I had listened to her once or twice as a freshman but didn’t understand suffering as I did at this point. I decided to give her first album, Born to Die, a listen. I was instantly transported to a space of bliss. I lied still in my bed, eyes closed, and cried so hard my head pulsated. The song, “Dark Paradise”, hit me hard. I had no idea music could be so raw and vulnerable. At last, I knew I was not alone in feelings of hopelessness which ironically provided me glimmers of optimism. Lana’s songs are poetic, they reached me at my core and brought my shadow to the surface. It was intimate, I listened to her for days on end and desired to share my love for her with my family. I expected empathy and support but was met with looks of disapproval and concern.

Born to DIe - Lana Del Rey
Album cover of Born to Die on Spotify courtesy of Lana Del Rey
https://youtu.be/l4rhJx2YPo8?si=GV0FMvEJ4ibFultt&t=55
"Your soul is haunting me and telling me that everything is fine / but I wish I was dead / Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise."  (Del Rey)

Losing Hope, Mesmerized by Music

  “As I got older, I learned I’m a drinker / Sometimes a drink feels like family / Family,” (Mitski). 
Album cover of The Land Is Inhospitable and So Are We on Spotify courtesy of Mitski

          My family tended to deny my hardships. My mom repeatedly told me, “This is normal, you’re a teenager. It’s just hormones. Just think positive.” I felt invalidated. I developed depressive thoughts and tendencies at age 15, but lack of support amplified my loneliness as my teenage years progressed. I engaged in addictive habits. I spoke to therapist after therapist, I was prescribed almost every medication in the book until I was a numb shell of the charismatic child I once was. Nobody and nothing was going to save me, I only felt understood when I listened to Lana’s music. She became an important part of my morning routine. Especially my morning drives to school. I would carpool with my best friends who didn’t always share my taste, “Can’t you play something less depressing?” they would ask me, but I didn’t feel that the music worsened my mood. I enjoyed the lyrical depth I felt modern pop music lacked. I did not feel much improvement with my headspace, but I lived for the music. It is what kept me going in my darkest hours. 

The Stars of my Life’s Soundtrack

 “Yeah, I wish I’d been a, wish I’d been a teen, teen idle / Wish I’d been a prom queen fighting for the title / Instead of being 16 and burning up a bible / Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal,” (MARINA).
Album cover of Electra Heart on Spotify courtesy of Marina
Image of the band Cigarettes After Sex courtesy of Bandcamp.com

   During my senior year, I was uninspired and had no desire to accomplish anything. I locked myself away in my room, gently swaying to the sweet sounds of sadness. I delved deeper into the world of melodic artistry, listening to singers and bands that touched my soul. Cigarettes After Sex has an ethereal quality in their minimalistic but heart wrenching instrumentals. “You’re All I Want” was a song that caught my attention after I would pick a random playlist to cry myself to sleep, most likely titled something like “the world is ending” or “I hate my life”. To this day, it hits my soul so hard that I must ensure I’m in a place where I can comfortably have a meltdown.

Mazzy Star’s solemn tone makes me feel like I’m transcending. Their album, So Tonight That I Might See, is somewhat of a forgotten gem. Most would call them a one-hit wonder, referring to the song “Fade Into You”.  

Image of Fiona Apple courtesy of Spotify

I fell in love with Ethel Cain’s telling of stories unheard. She establishes a narrative with her alias derived from a fictional character in her debut album Preachers Daughter. She explores themes revolving around religious trauma in which I empathize as a free-spirited gay guy.

Fiona Apple’s songwriting is creativity in its purest essence. Admittedly, she does have a bit of a strange off-putting vibe which just so happens to suit my personality perfectly.

It was almost like I knew each one of these musicians personally. I had never listened to albums in their entirety before but now I would lose myself in the music. My speakers would reach volumes higher than the recommended limit and my walls were thin. 

The Backlash I Didn’t Need

Well, he seemed broken-hearted / Something within him / But the moment I first laid / Eyes on him, all alone / On the edge of 17,” (Nicks).
Album cover of Belladonna on Spotify courtesy of Stevie Nicks

By 17 my parents no longer rejected the idea of their son having a mental illness after it didn’t get better as years passed. With this understanding came disapproval of my newfound music preferences. They partly attributed my setbacks to the artists I grew fond of. They argued that I would never feel better if I listened to such tragic styles of music, identifying with it rather than rejecting it. I knew that this couldn’t be further than the truth. How could art so grounding possibly cause harm to someone? Following an awful year and obligatory college applications, I graduated high school and moved on to the next steps with a tense self-loathing attitude. I left my childhood home while music kept me afloat. 

College Crisis and A New Friend

 “Days like this, I don’t know what to do with myself / All day and all night / I wander the halls along the walls / And under my breath, I say to myself / ‘I need fuel to take flight’,” (Apple).
Album cover of Tidal on Spotify courtesy of Fiona Apple

            It was the first night of my new college life and I honestly could not have cared less. Fear and isolation consumed me. I sat in the crowd of other freshmen and sensed a mix of excitement and nervousness. I eventually mustered up the courage to turn to the girl next to me and introduce myself. After a few minutes of small talk, I asked the question of the century… “Do you listen to Lana del Rey?”

Following her enthusiastic yes, I undoubtedly knew I had just met my closest friend at Stockton University. We talked every day, ranking albums from worst to best and asking for recommendations. Together we dived into the discographies of Radiohead, The Smiths, Phoebe Bridgers, Deftones, Mitski, and countless others. I put her on to some artists and she returned the favor. We would tell our new friends about songs that deeply changed us and were able to influence them a bit as well. Sharing my love for the music I cherished was equally exciting as it was freeing. Though this was true, I would still go to bed at night hoping the next day would never come. I was apathetic toward every aspect of my life. As awful as this sounds, I would have jumped for joy if I received a stage 4 cancer diagnosis.

Connecting with Others Through Melancholia

Oh, what can I do? / Life is beautiful, but you don’t have a clue / Sun and ocean blue / Their magnificence, it don’t make sense to you,” (Del Rey).
Album cover of Ultraviolence on Spotify courtesy of Lana Del Rey

My new friends understood why I listen to the music I do but they still worried about my wellbeing. I made unexpected connections through music as I realized that there are people in this world who have gone through just as much as I have but came out the other side. I failed to realize this as a possibility, I assumed I was naturally doomed. I finally found community but still felt completely alone. I had reached my rock bottom and realized the crucial decision I must make. I could either give up on everything and accept my fate of failure or take back control of my life and commit to finding meaning in it all. I chose the latter and applied to transfer schools knowing I needed a fresh slate more than anything else. I got accepted to Temple University and elected to rebuild my life from the ground up. For the most part, I made these choices with a pair of headphones on.

A New Beginning

 “Well, the sky has finally opened / The rain and wind stopped blowin’ / But you’re stuck out in the same ol’ storm again,” (Musgraves). 
Album cover of Golden Hour on Spotify by Kacey Musgraves

           I continue my collegiate path at Temple. This time around, I have an optimistic outlook on the life ahead of me. I received the proper help I needed, and it forever changed the ways I perceive the world. Despite the peace I found within, I still listen to the music that followed me through all the twists and turns of growing up and developing my sense of self. The backlash from my family subsided as they noticed I started smiling again, though I still get the occasional sigh when they hear the same old albums on repeat.

Image of Lorde courtesy of Spotify

Sometimes I’m asked if I will ever get sick of my favorites and move on. Of course, it naturally ebbs and flows. I like to keep an open mind and expand my playlists from time to time. I created space for artists that don’t always sing about the cataclysmic horrors of a world fueled by shallow superficial desire. Kacey Musgraves, Lorde, and Clairo remind me that life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but that doesn’t mean brighter days are a figment of imagination. I’m living proof that life’s challenges breed resilience in those who really want it.  I even returned to my roots and occasionally listen to my favorite musicals, but nothing compares to the vulnerability in sorrowful songwriting. 

Happiness is a Butterfly

The music dearest to me taught me lessons I needed the most. Regardless of my current mood, my dreary music taste allows me to romanticize my life and make sense of tribulation. I feel peak contentment when finding beauty in the mundane. Sad music revived my lust for life. It’s ironic how depressing musicality has uplifted me more than any forced positive affirmations. I defy the skeptical remarks from family and friends and see melancholia for what it is, acceptance of negative emotions. One cannot find the light in life without immense darkness. The everchanging soundtrack of my life gives me purpose, and that is something I refuse to take for granted. Music is a channel for limitless emotional expression, be it triumph or tragedy, which has personally affected my discovery of meaning in this life. Sad music has made me happier than ever. I owe it to Lana Del Rey for having paved the way for me, verbalizing the ineffable,

https://youtu.be/nbcXvlEa7Wk?si=PChkXpDSzNuP4ZaN
Happiness is a butterfly / Try to catch it like every night / It escapes from my hands into moonlight,” (Del Rey). 
Album cover of Norman Fucking Rockwell! on Spotify courtesy of Lana Del Rey

Apple, Fiona. “Sullen Girl.” Tidal, Epic Records, 1996. Spotify

https://open.spotify.com/track/6cVxGzo7214XabSXFGasNl?si=7c53db9035fb41a1

Cain, Ethel. Preacher’s Daughter, Daughters of Cain Records, 2022. Spotify,

https://open.spotify.com/album/3WmujGwOS0ANHkJRnMH6n8?si=tccLPo3NQvWqTw4gbdvQ9g

Cigarettes After Sex. “You’re All I Want.” Partisan Records, 2020. Spotify

https://open.spotify.com/track/2cTvZSCqzjkTMkIypLxUFH?si=231e02fd4dbb4be9

Del Rey, Lana. “Black Beauty.” Ultraviolence, Polydor Records, 2014. Spotify,

https://open.spotify.com/track/63hHlajVLQnlFMAqSyePxO?si=847bfa193ee04c09

Del Rey, Lana. “Dark Paradise.” Born to Die, Polydor Records, 2012. Spotify,

https://open.spotify.com/track/0rbuGVyW18IpX0bhA3P4Oh?si=d19e725889794786

Del Rey, Lana. “Happiness is a Butterfly.” Norman Fucking Rockwell!, Polydor Records, 2019. 

Spotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/track/3lG6OtGDsYAOALxEmubQQm?si=f728b30b2fcc46b7

MARINA. “Teen Idle.” Electra Heart, Atlantic Records UK, 2012. Spotify

https://open.spotify.com/track/7yexC1v9jx6PXYbJgjzXRV?si=1f765aa5d60c4cc2

Mazzy Star. “Fade Into You.” So Tonight That I Might See, Capitol Records Inc, 1993. Spotify

https://open.spotify.com/track/1LzNfuep1bnAUR9skqdHCK?si=180028d604f04e4f

Mitski. “Bug Like an Angel.” The Land Is Inhospitable and So Are We, Dead Oceans, 2023.

Spotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/track/45KMdPDdZTxcXW3lw10R70?si=6d78c418daad4ec6

Musgraves, Kacey. “Rainbow.” Golden Hour, MCA Nashville, 2018. Spotify

https://open.spotify.com/track/79qxwHypONUt3AFq0WPpT9?si=88434513b4614c82

Nicks, Stevie. “Edge of Seventeen – 2016 Remaster.” Bella Donna, Modern Records Inc, 1981. 

Spotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/track/7L3b6iaVhDVjfo52Hbvh9Z?si=837dc539881d4db4

A Philadelphia Story


It was a day like any other day at the time. March 11th, 2020. A day the entire world will
never forget, including myself. The entire world declared a public health emergency from a new
virus plaguing the world, the Coronavirus (COVID-19). I was a senior at Academy Park High
School, getting ready to graduate and transition from high school to college life. When the news
broke that everybody had to stay home and finish the rest of the year at home. I felt very happy
that I did not have to see any of those rude, annoying, unprofessional and self-centered students
and staff members ever again.

Then came the real challenge of trying to finish my last year of
high school and keeping my mental health intact during this unprecedented time in my life.
My mental health was already on the decline ever since my junior year of high school.
My high school was utter garbage ever since I became a freshman in high school and still is to
this day. I was already diagnosed with anxiety and depression and the pandemic added more
frustration. I had to sit at home while learning from a laptop by watching asynchronous videos of
subjects I did not learn in my high school classes. The work was way above my head to
comprehend what I was trying to learn at the time. Also, while I was struggling mentally and
academically at home during the pandemic, I saw light at the end of the tunnel. I was on the
verge of graduating from high school and had the opportunity to apply to Temple University because of family connection and the benefit of having free financial tuition remission for ten
semesters was the way to go for me.
A few months have passed since the start of the pandemic. I was doing all my
schoolwork asynchronously online without meeting any of my teachers. My main focus was to
stay the course, get my education and graduate on time. Later, I leaned that the online course
work that all the students were doing would not count towards the final grade. I felt relieved
because I did not understand the material being taught. The school community did not know how
to handle online education and my interest in learning declined during this time. I couldn’t wait
to escape the daily grind of watching videos and I turned to playing a lot of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate and
isolating myself even more.


By the time my high school graduation rolled around, my high school did the most
insulting thing that I’ve ever seen. All the students had to dress up in caps and gowns and say
their names in front of a video camera, because of the pandemic lockdown, to be played during
an online graduation ceremony. Graduation was a non-traditional drive-by around the parking lot
(like we were in a drive through restaurant) waiting for our diplomas and followed by an intimate
celebration with family for the class of 2020. This graduation did not sit well with me. This
entire graduation ceremony felt like a huge slap in the face to me. After twelve years of school
and some mental health struggles that I had to endure, I felt like it was all for nothing because of
this stupid pandemic, that we couldn’t control. After the ceremony was over, I waited a few
harder felt months until my time at Temple University started. It was a hard and frustrating point
to get to where I am right now. I was excited to open the acceptance letter in the mail. I felt very happy and proud that I got accepted to my father’s alma mater. I wanted my transition from high school to college and
erase the bad memories. However, for the start of the fall 2020 semester, we were still learning
online. The pandemic disrupted what would have been my first semester at Temple on the main
campus in Philadelphia. I wanted to experience interacting with students who wanted to learn
and not be reminded of the chaos I endured at high school. Unfortunately, I had remote learning
again and I felt isolated and alone with the lack of in-person interaction and social support. I felt
like I wasn’t understanding the material much and was afraid to speak up and ask questions. My
concentration during remote learning had decreased over the semester and I also noticed that a
lot of students would not turn on their cameras and this made class less engaging and hard to
meet people.

When I was finally able to head to Philadelphia for in-person learning, there was yet
another pause. For the first three weeks of the semester, we had to study virtually due to the rise
of COVID cases. I had to take a lot of health precautions and get a booster shot and wear a
surgical mask or KN95 mask to return to in-person learning. I also had to upload proof of my
vaccines in order to enter buildings on campus. There were a lot of mixed emotions about
attending in-person classes. I was excited to be on campus and happy that the university was
taking the necessary steps to keep us all safe. However, it was still all distraction for me and at
times, I felt overwhelmed, stressed and anxious and this led me to yet another hospital stay. I
had to get help and put my education on hold for a bit. So, my Philadelphia story is not a positive
one.
During my absence from school, I was getting therapy and needed to find something to
do with the extra time on my hand. I started to look for work and found a job in Philadelphia. I was excited to open the acceptance letter in the mail. I felt very happy and proud that I
got accepted to my father’s alma mater. I wanted my transition from high school to college and
erase the bad memories. However, for the start of the fall 2020 semester, we were still learning
online. The pandemic disrupted what would have been my first semester at Temple on the main
campus in Philadelphia. I wanted to experience interacting with students who wanted to learn
and not be reminded of the chaos I endured at high school. Unfortunately, I had remote learning
again and I felt isolated and alone with the lack of in-person interaction and social support. I felt
like I wasn’t understanding the material much and was afraid to speak up and ask questions. My
concentration during remote learning had decreased over the semester and I also noticed that a
lot of students would not turn on their cameras and this made class less engaging and hard to
meet people.
When I was finally able to head to Philadelphia for in-person learning, there was yet
another pause. For the first three weeks of the semester, we had to study virtually due to the rise
of COVID cases. I had to take a lot of health precautions and get a booster shot and wear a
surgical mask or KN95 mask to return to in-person learning. I also had to upload proof of my
vaccines in order to enter buildings on campus. There were a lot of mixed emotions about
attending in-person classes. I was excited to be on campus and happy that the university was
taking the necessary steps to keep us all safe. However, it was still all distraction for me and at
times, I felt overwhelmed, stressed and anxious and this led me to yet another hospital stay. I
had to get help and put my education on hold for a bit. So, my Philadelphia story is not a positive
one.


During my absence from school, I was getting therapy and needed to find something to
do with the extra time on my hand. I started to look for work and found a job in Philadelphia. I had to commute to my job by public transportation. The smell of marijuana would make me sick
to my stomach and people on the train looked so unwelcome and suspicious. Also, people would
play hateful and loud rap music because they simply did not care. Which made train rides even
more unsafe for me and on edge most of the time. I had to learn to adapt to the unpleasant noises
and smells along with blending in how people usually act on public transportation.
After a couple of months of trying to find and maintain work. I concluded going back to
Temple University to get my bachelor’s degree in media studies and production. I need some
degree to survive today’s world that is filled with a problematic society and inflation prices.
When I got back to Temple University, everything just did not feel the same anymore. No
friends, no relationship, and barely any support towards me. All of that did change in the coming
years ahead.
I managed to find a group of people that care about my achievements. Along with finding
a girlfriend who really understands what I am talking about most of the time. I saw the city of
Philadelphia come together and alive when the Eagles won Super Bowl LIX this year. I am on
the verge of graduating from the college I always wanted to attend when I was a little kid. I have
come a long way from the COVID-19 pandemic and in general with my mental health struggles.
I just hope I can have a well-rounded and educated future in a city that I hate and grew up my
entire life around.

Pandemic Learning Loss: How Covid-19 Academically Impacted College Students
https://www.bestcolleges.com/research/pandemic-learning-loss/
Temple University to restore in-person instruction this
fall amid a ‘vibrant campus experience’
https://www.phillyvoice.com/temple-university-fall-2021-semester-in-person/
We Only Lasted A Week’: Some Temple University Students
Move Out Of Dorm Rooms After COVID-19 Outbreak
https://www.cbsnews.com/philadelphia/news/we-only-lasted-a-week-some-temple-university-
students-move-out-of-dorm-rooms-after-covid-19-outbreak/
Temple confirms return to in-person classes, tightens mask guidelines
https://temple-news.com/temple-confirms-return-to-in-person-classes-tightens-mask-guidelines/

From Temple to Broad Street: How Philly Sports Won Me Over

By: Amber Putman

From waking up at seven in the morning to tailgate the NFC Championship game to celebrating on Broad Street until one in the morning after the Super Bowl, the memory of the 2025 Eagles victory will forever stay with me. If you had told pre-college Amber that she would run two miles in thirty-degree weather to celebrate a Super Bowl win, she would have bet her entire life you were lying. But that’s just what living in Philadelphia does to you. If I had to describe the Philadelphia sports community in one word, it would be contagious. This city celebrates wins together and mourns losses together in ways unlike anywhere else. Four years ago, I chose to attend college in one of the country’s most dedicated sports cities and had no idea what was waiting for me. Living in Philadelphia and experiencing its infectious community has turned me into a sports fan in a way that eighteen years with my sports-loving family never could.

Growing up just twenty minutes from Baltimore, I’ve always known how major cities influence their surrounding sports communities. I was raised to root for the Ravens if they made it to the Super Bowl and to boo the Dallas Cowboys—some things never change. We weren’t exactly a sports-obsessed household, but we were definitely competitive. My dad played softball and soccer throughout my childhood and coached my brother’s baseball team. My brother, now looking to study exercise science in college, has played nearly every sport known to a teenage boy. I was a competitive gymnast for twelve years before college, and my mom is absolutely ruthless at family game nights. I say I grew up in a baseball family because this was the sport that stuck with me the most. It was the only major sport I would watch because I understood it and could follow along. Football was never my favorite sport. My family had divided loyalties when it came to teams.

Having grown up in southern Maryland, my dad is a die-hard Commanders fan. My mom, originally from Allentown, Pennsylvania, doesn’t particularly care for the game but her side of the family is rabid Eagles fans and she will proudly root alongside them. My brother, who grew up next to Baltimore, defaulted to being a Ravens fan. Although I was caught between conflicting loyalties, I never understood how people developed a ride-or-die mindset for certain teams. I always joked that my entire family had split opinions about football and I couldn’t care less. But moving to Philadelphia for college has transformed me from an outsider into an invested Philly sports fan.


Unsurprisingly, my path to becoming a Philadelphia sports fan started with baseball. I’ve always loved the excitement of a shared community—one of the reasons I enjoy Twitter during award show season. When the Phillies advanced to the World Series in 2022, my understanding of baseball combined with that sense of community sparked a genuine interest in Philadelphia sports. I remember staying up until one in the morning when the first game went into overtime. Though the Phillies ultimately fell short, losing in Game 6, I experienced a small-scale version of the Philadelphia sports fan hype for the first time during those few weeks.

While I attended the annual family Super Bowl parties growing up, I never cared about the game. I mostly enjoyed being with family and watching the halftime show. February 2023 was the first year I sat down to watch the Super Bowl and cared about the outcome. My roommate lent me her Eagles crewneck and I painted my fingernails green while I waited for our friends to join us in our living room for the game. Although I wanted the Eagles to win, I was a passive viewer. I only understood what was happening on the TV screen when Rihanna showed up for the halftime show. Still, the support was there. It was also my first look into the large-scale Philadelphia sports fandom. I even considered running down Broad Street in the rain to celebrate an Eagles victory. Unfortunately, there was no win, so this outcome was not explored and while my Philly pride took a brief pause when I studied abroad in Rome during my junior year, it came back in full swing at the start of my final year at Temple University.

Coming back from Rome, things were different. I was living with strong sports fans and the Eagles were winning. Due to this, I was developing a stronger connection with the Philadelphia fan base. I live with two Philly natives and two dedicated sports fans, which means if a Philadelphia team is playing the game is on. I didn’t watch much of the regular football season, but I remember catching the end of the Division Playoff game against the Rams. This game was crucial, as it determined whether the Eagles and Commanders would face off for a spot in the 2025 Super Bowl. If you recall, my dad is a lifelong Commanders fan, while my mom grew up in an Eagles household. Safe to say, I was relieved not to be home for the Conference Championship game between the Eagles and Commanders. With my family split and the rivalry between the teams running deep, tensions were high—but there was never any doubt about which team I was rooting for. For the first time, I genuinely cared about the outcome of an NFC Championship.

My roommate’s hometown friends came to Philly to tailgate the game at Lincoln Financial Field. We had our fill of green hotdogs and even got to see Jason Kelce before we headed home to watch the game in the warmth of our living room. During my sophomore year, my excitement for the Super Bowl was fueled by the contagious energy of the people around me. But by senior year, that excitement came from within—I genuinely wanted the Eagles to win. Since they were facing the Commanders, the team I grew up watching, it felt like a battle between my hometown and the place I now call home.
Halfway through the fourth quarter, the energy around the room was buzzing and my roommate looked at me and said “Get up, we’re going to City Hall.” Not even pretending to act like I had a choice. The sight of Broad Street was unlike anything I’d ever seen before. When I told my mom I was walking two miles down Broad Street from North Philly, I could see the worry on her face through the screen. I reassured her there was nothing to be concerned about—because as long as I was wearing green, this was the safest I had ever felt in Philadelphia after dark. The streets were packed, cars with massive Eagles flags sped by, honking in celebration, and people danced in the middle of traffic or stood on top of cars, I had never experienced anything like it before. The energy was exhilarating, but I wasn’t prepared for the four-mile trek I made that night. Eventually, I had to call it a night. But as I headed home, one thought stuck with me—I’d be ready after an Eagles win in the Super Bowl.

Unlike the previous Philly Super Bowl I watched, I was engaged in the game the entire time. I was cheering at the right times, not because everyone else was but because I knew what was happening. The highlight of the night was overwhelmingly DeJean’s touchdown in the early stages of the game. I could be found in a crowd of green jumping on the couch and cheering on a football player as he ran across my screen—a very unheard-of action for me. The excitement and tensions were even higher because the Eagles played the Chiefs. Knowing this game was a rematch from 2023 and recognizing that the Chiefs had been on a winning streak for two years prior, my pettiness and competitiveness heightened greatly. Once the Gatorade pour happened before the two-minute countdown, our crowd of twenty-some people gathered their things and I started my second journey to City Hall. I knew I was making lifelong memories of celebrating with my friends and the city of Philadelphia during my senior year of college.
Celebrating the Super Bowl victory was much larger than celebrating the NFC Championship. I was out past midnight and the crowd was massive. At times, I could barely move. Fireworks lit up the sky, reflecting off the windows of surrounding skyscrapers. Strangers hugged, danced, and sang fight songs, bonded by their happiness. Sounds of car horns and chants of “E-A-G-L-E-S, Eagles!” came from every direction. Between making new friends and seeing old ones, being a part of the sea of green surrounding City Hall was an honor I did not know I wanted. My native Philly friends even dubbed me an official Philadelphian.

After four years, two Super Bowls, and one Championship win, I am still not quite a football fan, but I am undoubtedly a fan of Eagles fans. That’s why I can confidently say I will stay loyal to the Eagles no matter where I live. It wasn’t the game that won me over—it was the community. I have learned that by living in the heart of Philadelphia I didn’t have a choice in becoming a Philly sports fan. I was placed into the community when I decided to go to Temple. While I was first attracted to the spectacle, my interest quickly transformed into genuine enjoyment as I began to understand why people care so deeply about sports. The dedication to certain teams stems from the community surrounding them. The way this city rallies around its team, celebrating victories like family, is something special. There is a feeling of purpose because every game has stakes. Philadelphia doesn’t just watch sports; it feels them. And after four years of living here, I do too.

How I learned to love Temple

I didn’t always love Temple University.

If you had asked me how I felt about this school during my freshman and sophomore years, I would’ve said I strongly disliked it (for the most part). I applied here as a safety school, it was not my first choice by any means. My first two years were rough with roommate situation, trying to make friends, and being in a unhealthy relationship. But, it was a trip roughly 6,000 miles overseas that made me fall in love with life again and Temple University as a whole. I got to study abroad in Rome for six weeks when my sophomore year ended, and I met a lot of new people and made new lifelong friends. I’m now set to graduate in May with a bachelor’s degree from Temple University, and I could not be more proud and honored.


Let’s start with my senior year of high school. I knew I wanted to do broadcast journalism because I was very passionate about the Phillies, and as a teenager, I thought it would be perfect to be able to actually get paid to talk about the Phillies as a career. In high school, I was so fixated on wanting to go to a state school, like Penn State or Michigan State. I wanted to go to a huge school with a big name and a good football team. Those were pretty much my only college requirements. I remember Michigan State was the very first school I heard back from, AND they accepted me! I was so set on going there until I found out how much it would cost to go there. One day, I visited Temple with my grandfather, and we just walked around the campus. I was nervous because I did not at all fall in love with this school; to me, it was just a bunch of buildings put together, and I had no idea what they were (p.s. Always do a guided tour if you can). But when the time got closer to needing to make a decision, I accepted my offer letter from Temple because it made the most sense being in-state and with my major and being the perfect distance from home, and I ultimately think it was the best decision I have ever made in my life.

When I started my freshman year, my youngest sister Shannon was one and a half years old, and my other sister Anna was only three years old. I had two younger brothers, Koby, who was 12, and Kayden, who was nine. I’ve always been extremely close with my sisters since they were born and have gotten closer with my brothers as they’ve gotten older. I knew that for college, I needed to be close to them because I couldn’t move far away for school and miss these four important years of their lives. Since my hometown in Montgomery County is only 50 minutes from Temple, I’m able to go home often and almost whenever I want to see my siblings. I have frequently gone home to see Koby’s basketball games, which I love watching, and I’ve been able to go home on the weekends and have movie nights with my sisters and attend their birthday parties. When I am on the phone with my dad, sometimes my sisters will be yelling in the background, “KyKy, when are you coming home? KyKy can you come home this weekend?” and almost every time I can put time aside for those upcoming weekends to go home and spend some time with them.

I lived in Morgan South freshman year, and looking back on it, I had some fun times. But if you had asked me when I was 18 and 19 years old, I would’ve said I was extremely unhappy and that Temple was not for me. I came into college dating my high school boyfriend, who was two years younger than me, and I was extremely unhappy with him. I hung out with him almost every single day freshman year, which was the worst thing I ever did because it prevented me from making new friends and becoming close with my roommates and the people who lived on our floor. I lived in a dorm with two other girls who became inseparable best friends our first semester. I felt excluded and like the odd one out the entire time which really sucked. The second semester rolled around, and we got our fourth roommate, Anna, which helped the dynamic a lot. I was having more fun and getting along with everyone better.

Me and Anna in Center City

Sophomore year arrived, and I lived in an off-campus apartment with one roommate who’s been one of my closest friends since elementary school. I also decided to go out for informal sorority recruitment since Anna was also doing it. If you had asked me even three months before this, I would’ve laughed at the thought of being in a sorority and going through recruitment. I met with three organizations, got a bid from all three, and chose Delta Phi Epsilon as the sorority I wanted to be a part of for the rest of my college career. It kept me busy this semester, which was a positive experience since my boyfriend ended our relationship. After a few more months of not getting along, fighting, and him cheating, I ended up getting broken up with and heartbroken in a way I’d never experienced before. I felt extremely alone in my bedroom at school and my bedroom at home. I wouldn’t be able to go out at night with friends without crying, and my dad forced me to commute to school for a week since I was unable to take care of myself and eat anything. At home, he let me sleep in his bed with my stepmom and sisters even though he had to get up around 4-5 am every morning to work outside all day, and he would force-feed me buttered noodles even if I wasn’t hungry. This made me not love Temple in any way. I did not have many friends, and I now had no boyfriend and constantly felt alone. We broke up in November, and it didn’t fully hit me, and I wasn’t broken until the second semester when it felt more serious. Also, during this time, my uncle died of cancer, which led me to think I should start therapy, and I had my very first session on his funeral day.

My friend Rylie and I at our sorority bid day

The second semester was really rough for me still due to this. But I did have my first sorority recruitment in January, and it was actually a lot of fun. I got to interact with many new girls in my chapter and made new friends, and I got to take a lot of pictures that I get to look back on. The Eagles also did well this season, so I got to storm Broad Street for the very first time in my life because they were the NFC Champions. Recruitment was ending at the same time the Eagles had just won. So we sprinted home from recruitment, changed into green, and took the subway down to City Hall. It was an amazing experience; I’ve never seen anything like it. Like really, how many college students can say they’ve experienced something like this?

This was the time when I finally got to study abroad in Rome. I could write an entire paper on being abroad alone, but it’s easy to say this healed me completely, and I appreciated life in such new ways. I found myself again. I lived with six other girls who went to Temple who ended up being my best friends, and to this day some of them are still my friends and are even considered my best friends. We would go out to eat all the time, study at a local cafe, walk around Rome for hours, go to bars in Rome, and then end most of those nights with McDonald’s (which is much better out there than here in the States). I remember being slightly intoxicated in these Ubers traveling around Rome late at night with my friends and just thinking how lucky I was to be doing this and how loved I truly felt by all these people I met. My favorite thing we would do in Rome was go to an American bar called “Scholar’s.” We would also get slightly intoxicated and sing karaoke on a little stage in front of the entire bar. That experience truly made me realize how much I loved my life and how much there was to it. We also traveled to other cities such as Brussels, Amsterdam, Florence, Venice, Barcelona, and a few others. These were the best six weeks of my entire life, and I was the happiest version of myself that I’ve ever seen in my life. I didn’t feel an ounce of sadness while being out here. I was constantly happy and thriving the entire time. When those six weeks were over, I went back to Temple a little over a month later with a new group of friends, amazing memories, and a much better outlook on life. 

When Junior year hit, I knew school needed to get more serious, and I needed to be doing more for my major. I had volunteered for OwlSports Update in previous semesters but was nervous and didn’t really get involved. I finally took Matt Fine’s class and was so glad I got to do it. I was able to attend many Temple athletic events, interview players and coaches, and go live for TUTV. This made me realize that this is exactly what I want to do when I graduate. I also happened to get an internship with the Philadelphia Union as a Partnership Marketing Intern for the semester, which I absolutely loved. I got extremely lucky with this internship. I was lying in bed one day, and my friend sent me a screenshot of her texts with one of the Union’s marketing coordinators saying she needed an intern for the semester. My friend didn’t want the internship, so I took it even though I didn’t know the first thing about marketing and had very little Union/MLS knowledge. I also started living with a new group of friends this semester who are some of my closest friends now, and we had the time of our lives. These girls helped me love Temple and made me realize its full potential. 

At the end of this semester, I had a Zoom call with Matt Fine, who offered me the role of beat reporter for OwlSports Updates’ basketball show, Courts In Session, for the upcoming semester. It was one of the best calls I have ever gotten in my life. I was so happy and excited. I loved this role of being able to MMJ packages and get a lot of on-air time every Tuesday at noon. Without Temple, I may not have had this same opportunity elsewhere.

Senior year started, and I was living in the same house with two of the same girls and two other girls who had been our friends already. I also started my internship at WPHL17, which felt like such a huge accomplishment, getting an internship at a news station in a top-five market. I was waking up at 2:30 a.m. twice a week to get to the station at 3:45 a.m., but I absolutely loved being there. I got media access for Flyers games through this internship and went into players’ locker rooms and filmed the post-game interviews, it was so cool. I also took Temple Update that semester as a class to learn more about the news side of reporting versus just sports. There are a lot more jobs open to news reporting versus just sports, so I knew I needed to learn more about the news side of things to better my job opportunity post-grad. During this time, the Phillies finally won the N.L. East. It was so exciting to see the team doing so well after watching them suffer for as long as I can remember and sitting in 100-degree weather with pounding sun, and watching them get absolutely destroyed. Unfortunately, Red October was cut short due to them losing in the N.L.D.S. This meant it was time for the Eagles to shine. They had an amazing season and even ended up winning the Super Bowl! I got to storm Broad Street – not once – but twice, and attend the Eagles parade. Being in Philadelphia at this time was electric. There is truly no city like it. I also started talking to a new boy at the end of the first semester of my senior year. I was unsure about us dating since it was very new, and I was unsure about my post-grad plans and where I would potentially get a job. But all I knew at the time was that I really enjoyed spending time with him and talking to him every day. We only got the chance to hang out one time over winter break, which was enough time to make me realize how much I missed him when we weren’t together. We spent every day together the first week when we got back from break and eventually ended up dating. I realized that my feelings for him were strong enough to make a long-distance relationship work after college if necessary since he still has one more year at Temple. Luckily, he felt the same way. Without Temple, I would not have found the person that I love so much. This is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had with someone in my life, and words can’t express how much he means to me. Now, in my last and final semester of college, I secured an internship at WGAL 8 out in Lancaster (bit of a drive), and I am the Sports Desk Anchor for Temple Update. These two were also big accomplishments. I tried out for the Sports Desk Anchor role and actually got it. I was really proud of all the hard work I did the previous semester to get to this point because I saw how it truly paid off. Everyone at WGAL is very nice and welcoming. I’ve made many connections there and am getting a lot of experience at this news station.

Eagles parade

The article 5 Advantages of Going to College in the City written by Jason Patel, stated that “Big cities typically mean big businesses. Going to school in a busy, thriving city gives you access to more internship and career opportunities. Not only will you have more opportunities, but you’ll likely have higher profile opportunities too” (Patel 2023). I agree with this statement completely because I do not think I would have the same opportunities and experiences at all if I went to a state school out in the middle of nowhere. For example, if I had gone to Penn State, I would not have gotten the opportunity to intern at a news station in a top-five market or with a professional soccer team. I would not have gotten to storm Broad three separate times. I couldn’t take the subway down to tailgates or Phillies games. Going to a school in the city gave me a new love and appreciation for it.

Throughout my eight semesters at Temple, I can happily say that I’ve done and accomplished everything I could dream of and even more. Temple has given me a new love for the city of Philadelphia, my future bridesmaids, the person I can see spending the rest of my life with, and hopefully, a job very soon.

Thank you, Temple.

Sources:

https://www.niche.com/blog/5-advantages-of-going-to-college-in-the-city