When it comes to artists and what we listen to, many people look for key aspects to their music. Whether that be nostalgia from when we were younger, the vibe the music brings, or what we are feeling at the moment the song is heard, there are many different reasons why we might like a song or an artist. I love many artists who find home within the genre of indie. Indie is a genre “ defined by its spirit of independence, experimentation, and boundary-pushing creativity, rather than by a specific sound or style.” (“What Is Indie Music? Activate’s Comprehensive Guide for New Listeners and Musicians”) There are many artists who I personally love like Alex G, the Smiths, Beabadoobee, and Laufey, who define the genre for me. However, there is one artist who rises above all with her seraphic vocals and clever lyricism. An artist who has calmed emotional tidepools, where words couldn’t begin to do. One who goes above and beyond in her art.

That artist goes by the name of Mitski.

Mitski Miyawaki, also known as Mitsuki Laycock, was born on 27 September 1990 in Mie Prefecture Japan. Her mother is Japanese and her father is American. Growing up she lived in about 13 different countries including China and the Czech Republic. She then graduated in Turkey, later deciding to go to Hunter College in New York City. Her original plan of going into film changed and instead went into SUNY Purchase for music composition. In her time at SUNY, she produced on Bandcamp two albums Lush and To Retired From Sad, New Career in Business. These two albums, despite them being her first, have still aged well and have songs on the album that are some of my favorites by her. In 2014, through the label Double Double Whammy, Mitski released Bury Me at Makeout Creek. This album was made out of exhaustion and rage. It was notable enough to where Rolling Stone Magazine marked her as “10 New Artists You Need to Know” in its February 2015 issue (Mitski Miyawaki ’13). Her other albums she would later release such as Puberty 2, Be The Cowboy, Laurel Hell, The Land is Inhospitable and So Are We, would also receive just as much acclaim. It is all deserved as she is an artist who puts her all in her music.

The Beginning

When I first heard a Mitski song, I was about 16 or 17 years old. I had been scrolling on YouTube and I had watched this animation where they had used this song I had never heard before. It was one with heavy bass and intense vocals, one that I remember had my heart clenching from how raw she had sung it. Class of 2013 is what started it all, it struck a chord for me like no other. Many songs are about love or heartbreak in terms of relationships, but this one was a different kind of heartache. One that I had unfortunately begun to experience.

With Class of 2013, it incorporates the feelings of burnout and fear of being a burden to her mom in the pursuit of her career. Being in college and experiencing burnout is all too familiar of an experience for me and I know for many others as well. The need to be small and go back to the house you were raised in, just to have a break for a moment. When I first found this song, I was just at the start of transitioning from adolescence to the beginning of adulthood. I am a first-generation student, so the early years of searching for college were overwhelming. I had to figure out everything alone essentially. My adult figures were either absent or just as much at a loss to the process as I was, and I had to figure out where to go, what I could afford, and what I wanted to do, all the while I had to keep up with high school, the after-effects of covid, friends, family expectations, etc. So when I first heard this song, it was at one of my lowest points.

Mom, am I still young? Can I dream for a few months more?

This line was something that impacted me so deeply, that even now as I write this, it brings me this melancholic nostalgia. It brought comfort to have a song that put these difficult emotions into a ballad. That is the ‘Mitski Effect’, as I like to call it. Her music is crafted with vulnerability that can’t help but pull her audiences to her music. 

‘The Mitski Effect’

One of my favorite albums of hers is Lush. She wrote and produced the album while being in college and many of her songs tackle the ideas of femininity. It’s her first album she made at the age of 18 and it’s such a breath-taking work. The most notable song coming from the album is Liquid Smooth, a song where she talks about being at her prime and what that means in terms of her relationships. Brand New City has similar topics, her being at her peak and her beauty being important in the views of society. Some of my favorite songs at the moment, Abbey and Wife, also come from this album. All songs discussing femininity and how it affects different aspects of her life. It attracts listeners like myself for its poeticism, and despite many of the deeper and maybe even pessimistic tones, it has a lot of realism to it. It’s topics that shouldn’t be sugar-coated in uplifting beats, and I think that’s some of the charm that I like about her music. 

Her songs A Pearl, Abbey, and Your Best American Girl, are some of my favorites in her catalog. Your Best American Girl is from the perspective of a girl falling in love with an American boy and having different upbringings. She wanted to fill that American girl role desperately but in the end, having to accept

your mother wouldn’t approve of how my mother raised me but I do, I finally do.

Coming from a Hispanic background, the culture I grew up in is different from a lot of people in my life. Having this longing of wanting to be ‘your all-American girl,’ is something that resonates deeply with me. Having this need to fit into a mold just to have a sense of belonging with the people you love or care for. Having this sense of betrayal to the way you’re raised, at the end of her song when she changes her lyrics from

your mother wouldn’t approve of how my mother raised me, 
but I do 
I think that I do

to

your mother wouldn’t approve of how my mother raised me, 
but I do 
I finally do 

It’s her coming to accept the way she was raised in the end. It’s another one of her songs that many may not relate to, but if you get it, you get it. One that adds to the list of why she deeply resonates with me. 

Abbey is another hauntingly beautiful song that comes out of her album Lush. It discusses this hunger to be more, this need to be fulfilled in this life. It’s eerie in the way her vocals harmonize, the sense of longing and desperation dancing between each lyric. The way she can manipulate her vocals in this song makes it such a favorite for me.

There is a light that I can see, but only it seems, there is darkness in me. There is a dream that I sometimes see, that only appears in the dark of sleep.

Albeit the lyrics are grim, it’s a song that takes the feelings of wanting more of life and puts it into words. The themes she carries across throughout her songs that I seem to like are haunting and/or raw.

I will retire to the Salton Sea
At the age of 23
For I'm starting to learn I may never be free
But though I may never be free
Fuck you and your money
I'm tired of your money

Drunk Walk Home is another song of hers that can be seen as haunting but in a visceral sort of way. The song incorporates a heavy curdling scream and blaring guitar, the feelings of anger and frustration and this sense of sorrow all comes across perfectly. The lyrics discussing femininity, as well as living in capitalist America. Living freshly on my own and beginning to be an adult in this version of our democracy, this song becomes a sense of comfort. She has this ability to put complex feelings into the art of sound and having these shared emotions of frustration and anger be put into words is satisfying in a way.  It is fascinating being able to digest the world from her perspective and it is really what elevates her music beyond the typical artist.

And I sit on the curb 'cause it's the prettiest night
With no one else in sight
You know I wore this dress for you
These killer heels for you
See the dark, it moves
With every breath of the breeze

The Obsession

Later on, her songs Nobody and then later on Strawberry Blonde began trending on TikTok. More and more of her music became mainstream and there were moments where her songs had a permanent residency in my brain. Around 2021, I had completely dived into the deep end of an almost unhealthy obsession. I knew every song, every lyric, even her unreleased songs became an obsession of mine. Every friend I spoke to knew about her music and began to put me on the ‘do not let on aux’ ban whenever we would drive in a car. As much as I love her music, I can understand the slower and sadder notes  are essentially ‘vibe killers’. In Spotify’s end of the year wraps, I was in the top 0.001% of her listeners and I aimed to be higher. At the end of 2022, I went to her concert in Radio City Hall with my sister. It was the first concert I ever went to and one I will remember forever.

In the concert, she performed a style of dance called Butoh. This dance originated in Japan in the 1960s being influenced by the West. It was to break free from the stricter forms of dance in theater. The dance style involves dramatic facial expressions, slow movements, and sexual images (“Butoh, Explained”). Mitski incorporates this style into her performances, one that I got to see when I saw her in concert. It was a dance that I didn’t know but one that I found interesting. Her being able to pay homage to her culture through her art made me respect her more as both an artist and a person. The world is big, and not forgetting your roots can be hard in the midst of everything. She opened in the summer for Harry Styles performing these moves where she received harsh criticism from ignorant fans of Styles. Some stated it was too sexual and weird, the fans rudely talking through her set and laughing throughout her entire performance. Thankfully, this was a one-time incident. Most of her fans are respectful of the way she performs her music (myself included.) Her dance moves are chaotic but strategic, and I think that aligns perfectly with her music as her music itself is emotional chaos sung out in strong vocals. Compared to Harry Styles, her concert is vastly different,  a performance you don’t see often in other places. With her voice, instruments, and interpretive dance, it was a concert to remember.

Mitski is an artist who is a divine lyrist, vocalist, and musician. She owns the indie genre and puts a poetic twist into her art. Many of her songs are raw and hit a pivotal place of deep relatability when I listen to her. It may not appeal to everyone , but it reminds me of certain points in my life and how her music stood with me throughout that time. It is not the happiest of music, there’s a sense of relatability that she creates as a Japanese American woman that I don’t get from many other artists. I come from Hispanic parents and while I was born in America, our experiences are familiar. Mitski being able to incorporate her background and experiences into her work and having that shine is such an admirable quality. The authenticity that her music provides to her audience is seen clearly and it is why I hold her art so dearly to me.