I left Philadelphia on May 19th –a short time ago, but only if you measure in terms of weeks. With a thirst for adventure and a desire to leave everything behind, I was ready to experience a new environment, a new life.
Since high school, I have always dreamed of studying abroad in London or Rome. Dublin had never crossed my mind until I saw it listed as an option this past year. Since I love folk music, beer, and national parks, I stereotypically thought Ireland would be the perfect fit for me.
When the time came, I arrived in Dublin with the idea that being far away would help me forget all the struggles I was dealing with at home. For the last five months, I hadn’t been feeling like myself. My friends told me I’d forget everything and be back to normal once I left the country. That wasn’t the case.
Being in a new country with 17 people I had just met wasn’t helping me feel like myself again. If anything, I just felt more lost and confused. I liked the others students, I liked the city of Dublin, but I didn’t feel at home, nor did I feel the inner happiness I had expected.
Our class excursion to Howth was a turning point in the trip. On a beautiful, sunny day, we took a bus with our teacher, Darren. I didn’t know anything about Howth but I was excited because I was told we’d be hiking. As we hiked to the top, I was in awe at the beautiful view. For the first time on the trip, I felt at peace with myself. I didn’t have an urge to call home; I didn’t dwell on what happened in the past. All I knew is that I didn’t want to be anywhere else but there. In that moment, I realized I made the right decision coming here and I was proud of myself for taking the leap. Ultimately, I rediscovered my passion for nature and the outdoors; something that living in Philadelphia has made me forget.
Visiting Wicklow National Park was another highlight of the trip. I have never seen so much beauty in one place. I decided to wear rain boots that day so hiking to the top was a bit of a struggle but I was determined to get there. As I reached the top, struggling to catch my breath, I realized just how therapeutic being outdoors can be. There is no better time to clear your mind than when you’re at a beautiful spot like this. I immediately thought of the quote by Lord Byron: “I love not man the less, but Nature more.”
Regrettably, I took the first few weeks for granted. I worried too much about what was going on back home and let the time pass me by. While I don’t know if I am a new or a better person after studying away, I do know I now have a different outlook on life. I realized you can’t run across the world to forget about your problems. You have to accept them and find something you’re passionate about to find inner happiness. For me, being close to nature has helped ease my mind. I can’t change the past, but I can decide where I go from here.
– Erika Ayres