what now?

So if the storm has passed, what is there left to do? There’s only so much time to be out in the open before the next one rolls around.

I never understood people who chase tornados and hurricanes when in the end they’ll just come to you.

out of clever titles at the moment

After being so tired of doing nothing, I refuse to now complain about being busy. I’m having a great time and I never liked sleeping anyway.

I’m sure this’ll all lead somewhere good soon.

 

paranoia from sharing vs. sick from holding back

*insert some tasteless cliché about getting hit with emotion by the slightest thing*

It would take many, many more nights spent sitting on the curb with a friend in this distant city -the home away from “home”- before I’m strong enough to return with the confidence that I won’t trip and fall

sometimes the only way to ignore a problem is to create a more immediate problem

That being said, I do not recommend it.

As a person who usually fights problems directly I believe the main issue here is I have nothing to fight. There is no way to deal with it “directly”. Therefore I have to fight something, which ends up being myself and my own stupid behavior. In a way it’s like trying to fight the universe and provoke some incident, because that would be the best fight there is.

 

 

we leave at dawn (in a place where dawn is 10 A.M.)

Sometimes you can’t deal with things in Tokyo, sometimes you have to go all the way to Sendai to contemplate what the hell is going on and hopefully come back with better answers.

Continue reading

well that was anti-climatic

I don’t mind leaving with nothing

I don’t mind making a fool of myself

I don’t mind being torn up again

I don’t mind seeing what I’ve become

although,

I mind that I had to break my own rose-colored glasses

I mind that I took it out on you

I mind that I made others clean it up

I mind that this is all my fucking fault

and,

I mind that… in the end, I don’t

the last letter

There will be no more after this. Out of sight but never out of mind, I already saw glimmers of you in my imagination but I know I can not do this again. I made it to the end of the road and will not go back, for the sake of us both. There’s so much pain surrounding the idea of loss, of giving up, and although the situation has brought neither of these things why does it seem so similar?
Because your smile has touched my every word, your gentleness has held my every hope, since that day. The effect is no longer the same so I can not hang on, but how sad it seems to move on from such happiness. I know I will miss it. So much I created because of you, and here it comes to an end. One day we may return to this, you may say things I actually hear, I may write letters you actually read, and we can enjoy this together instead of apart.
But until then, I let you go. And I’m only able to do this because I love you so much. Thank you for understanding, and for everything.

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