I hate research

Thats it. Thats the blog post.

Just kidding, but I am serious about hating research. I am really happy with my career choice as a teacher and not a historian because I’ve gone crazy with just a few months of doing research, I could not imagine doing this for life. Citations are the bane of my existence and I of course saved them to the end, probably going to submit right at 11:59pm.

I got my graduation cap and gown today, which doesn’t feel real. I have had some serious imposter syndrome this semester as a first gen college student with 0 self confidence. It doesn’t feel like I belong here. It doesn’t feel like I’ve worked hard enough to get where I am, but I know that I have. I have worked full time, or even 2 (one time it was 3) jobs to get my way through college. And im going to complete my degree in 4 years, which is way more difficult than anyone tells you. Im also surprised since I transferred schools, changed majors, and studied abroad for 2 semesters. but here we are. thesis deadline day.

ive been listening to motivational music and eating junk food all day, but im starting to lose motivation, which is why I figured it was time to write a blog post. I think im gonna go cuddle my cats and dance it out (Any greys anatomy fans?) and try to write again.

These are my marbles. I have lost them. Let me know if you find them (or serotonin, cant seem to find that either)

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